In all His goodness

“Watch where you are walking A-HOLE!”, I mumbled, as I rounded the corner late for my class. I walked in a took my place at my desk. I had forgotten my book, so I knew I was screwed. As class began, I was distracted by distaste of the chick sitting next to me. Apparently, she hated the fact that we shared the same air. As the teacher began his lecture, I could not help to giggle as my stoned brain longed for him to say “philosophical” just one more time. “DO IT!! Huh-huh.” Just as he was about to do that cool thing with his lip again, his brilliance was interrupted by the announcement of “Will the following students please report to the office…” I turned to the guy next to me and asked, “Did she just say my name, dude?” He looked at me like I asked him for a kidney. I figured that if I was wrong the worst thing that would happen is I would not be sitting here, so I got up and headed to the office.

Of course, since this time was not being accounted for by anyone, I had plenty of time to stop by the bathroom and sneak in a smoke. I got as “spring time fresh” as I could before heading to the office. I walked up to the counter with ??? in my eyes. I was not playing stupid. I really had no clue of what they wanted. I was pretty sure it was not an award, but I could not recall being caught doing anything.
As I waited my turn, kid after kid came out hanging their head. I actually could hear the vice principal telling one kid that he had one more chance and then he would be expelled. I started to sweat. I thought, “Oh crap! This is gonna suck special!” When it was my turn, Mr. K came out and called me into his office. He didn’t seem that upset, so I thought maybe I got lucky. As the door closed, I saw his expression change from “Welcome” to “Don’t F with me.” He saw the confusion on my face and asked me about it.

“You look surprised Mr. Wenzler.”

My simple reply was, “That is cause I am.”

He said, “So you are sitting there and tell me you don’t know why you are here?”

I responded with, “Yes, sir.”

He said, “You don’t remember skipping class on Thursday?”

I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes in disbelief. I offered my only available response, “No, what class.” (This was turning into a real buzz kill)

He showed me a note from the gym teacher stating that I was absent from class.

I laughed.

He said, “This is not funny.”

Struggling to keep my smile in check, I said, “Of all my classes, why would I skip gym? I love that class.”

He said, “So I am to believe you over a teacher.” I asked for an opportunity to clear it up with the teacher, and surprisingly he agreed.

As I walked through the locker room, I could hear Mr. H in the “Okays” of a phone call, so I knew he was just about to wrap it up. As I waited in the doorway, he tried to ignore me and walk away, but I had to make this right.

I explained why I was in his office, and he looked me in the eye and said, “Kid, you were not there.”

I insisted that I was there. I was able to tell him what we had done during class, a joke I made (which he laughed at) and about a goal that I scored.

After presenting him all that evidence, he looked at me and said, “Kid, I am telling you. You were not there.”

I said, “Were you even listening to me?”

His response had a growl undertone as he looked at me and said, “I know who you are and you must think I am stupid! Kid, you have a hell of a reputation!”

I panicked, as my pride pushed back my tears. I said, “So who would you trust? If I got someone on my team to say I was there would you believe them?”

He said, “Pretty much as long as they are not you, I would be ok with it.”

I gave him a name and we had a deal. I spent the next hour playing “Have you seen Stu?” The good news is that when that game ended, he was willing to do what he could to help me out.

I was deeply scared and rattled by the experience of that day. I was a lot of things, but a liar was not one of them. I spent most of my energy the next few months doing being the best PR rep for the company of “me” I could be. I was going to undo all the damage and make my image spotless. I lived in a heightened state of “I suck” feeling like any misstep would put me back to start. Then as I sat in the darkness of a summer night, I prayed that God would send just one person into my life that would love me for me. Not because of what I am to them, but just because I am. God answered that prayer with the small, soft voice of a beautiful, lost girl. We were from different worlds, but in the same boat. The happily ever after is that we fell madly in love and together kneel humbly His feet. His refining purpose for our pain has been the undeniable proof of His presence. Much love, God. Much love.