Making things right?

Sent 7/2/07

Dad,

I want to offer an apology for not calling you on Father’s Day. The following may give some explanation as to why.

The day before, I had every intention of calling you. I woke up the day of, and I was severely depressed. I think it was old feelings that I had buried and chose to ignore that finally surfaced. There was no anger attached to how I was feeling, just a deep sadness due to the disconnection I feel is present in our relationship.

I have struggled over the years with these moments.. There is part of me that says just deal with it and move on. The problem is that I have taken that stance too many times. Ultimately, that just leads to more disconnection and more days like I had on Father’s Day.

I realize that there is no way to change the past, but I when think about the current status of our relationship I can’t help but wonder “How did it get to this point?”

What I want to make clear is that I am not looking to place any blame. What I am doing though is extending an invitation to you to be an active part of the life of my family. I miss you Dad. I realize that your schedule is busy. I have a family of my own. I also know that we make choices of who we pursue in relationship during those not so busy moments. What I would like to see from both of us is that we more often choose to pursue each other.

I am not sure if you feel like you would be a bother if you stopped by or called. I don’t want to speculate on your motivation, but I am curious to find out your perspective on the question I raised earlier.

I hope that you receive this message in the spirit it is intended. Not with a tone of accusation, but with a sincere hope of reconnection and reconciliation.

I love you Dad, and miss truly knowing you.

Love ,
Kory