Greatest Father's Day Gift Ever

The day started like every other Sunday. Wake up, dress, feed the kids, go to church. Church is where my life snapped into focus.

I was sitting in the back of the sanctuary with my boys and they started to act up. I tried to settle them and Charlie calmed down, but Ethan yelled at me during a very silent time in the service.

I quickly removed him from the service and took him to a quiet corner and had him stand there facing the corner. I told him he needed to stand there and think about how he had just treated his dad. After the time was up I got down in front of him and told him that he needed to apologize to me. He looked away and said "I'm sorry." I told him that now he needed to do it like real men do it. I told him to look me in the eye and say it again. He did, and I told him I forgive him. When people say it like that you can see it in their eyes if they are truly sorry. I told him that now we need to shake hands and go back to service.

We got back to the service and their behavior was a little better, but still inappropriate for the setting. I continued to struggle with them, up until the time that it was time for the children to be dismissed from the service. Before they were dismissed Jay, our pastor, instructed all the fathers in the room to stand. He ask they we be applauded for our efforts and then asked that everyone in the room lay hands on one of the fathers in there area as he lead a prayer. It was good prayer and when it ended, I turned and looked at Charlie and he had tears in his eyes. He had been pouting a lot during the service, so I thought it was just more of the same. Regardless, I could not let him go without knowing what was wrong. I walked out with him and asked him why he was crying, he did not respond. I took him to a more private location swatted down in front of him, and told him that I can not help him if he does not tell me what is bothering him. He fell into my arms and started to sob. Through his sobbing he said "It just makes me feel so good to pray for you. It makes me feel so happy. It made me cry."

I just held him in my arms at told him that I love him and asked him if he knows how happy he makes my heart. I held him until he stopped crying, and took him to class.

There are moments in peoples lives that are referred to as life changing. The stories normally surround a very traumatic "eye opening" experience.

My experience was not traumatic and was also not eye opening. It was "heart opening."

I forgot what is was to feel loved like that. I forgot that I could be loved like that. I don't remember the last time that I allowed myself to feel loved like that. I hear the words I love you come from peoples mouths, but I find myself having trouble really trusting those words. Those words hold strong meaning to me. They come second only to the phrase "I promise..." I have trusted too much and gotten hurt too often. I have turned my anger on myself, because if I give it to the person it belongs to they might pull away the conditional acceptance they have extended. This is why I cling to my Savior with all that I am. He will never leave me. He will never deceive me. He desires only to see my successes in His name. His promises are written in blood. Never to be broken.

I pray that my children know that it is my deepest desire for them to feel love like that.